A Post on "Love"

So I know I haven't posted on here for a while, mainly because I've started another blog and that's been my main blog for a while, but I felt the need to write a post mid-week. I can't do that on the other blog because that's only supposed to be once a week.

So I've been struck by a different meaning of the word "Love." What is meant when we say it, and what is understood when we hear it. So here I am, at my usual time of night where I come alive and say weird things and think weird thoughts. And I start talking about love. You may think "Hmm...Love. I like being loved." Well what do you think of when you say the word "love"? Do you mean people enjoy your presence and talking to you? Do you mean having the feeling of being wanted? Do you mean the joy of people telling you that you look good? I was reading a devotional this past week about "Love." I wrote about it on my other blog. Here's the link: http://52weekjorney.wordpress.com/2013/03/04/week-nine-new-understanding-of-the-word-love/
I'll wait while you read it.
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Now you see why my head is spinning. I guess I never really looked at the command to love others that way. It's strange to think that when we love others, we're displaying God's likeness. So what does the word Love mean in this sense? How does it work, this "love" thing? Gosh, I could spend hours on this topic. But I probably shouldn't. So I'm just going to put SOME of my thoughts down on "paper" (so to speak). If I put all of them, we would both be here all night.

1. Love is un-separatable. I'm not even sure that's a word, but the idea is written in Romans 8:38-39. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Paul is basically saying that NOTHING EVAR is going to separate us from God's Love. Whoa. That's an intense Love.

2. Love is Merciful. I know that's a word. But really. Titus 3:4-5 tells us this. "But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy..." So we didn't have to do anything to earn God's love. He created us and He said that we were good. We may be broken now, but He still loves us. Stew on that for a minute. We don't deserve His love, but He gives it to us freely. Wow! That thought alone should wreck us. We don't deserve love, but we get it anyways because we were created in God's image. And as we know God is love, so we were created in the image of Love. 

3. Love is Forgiving. If that last thought doesn't wreck you, this should. Because it did me at one point. Luke 23:34 "Jesus said, 'Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.' And they divided up his clothes by casting lots." Wow. Okay, so if you don't know the Passion story, read Luke 19:28-24:53. Right now. And don't come back till you're done. I'll put a couple of stars in the paragraph to let you know where you left off. ************ Okay. So now that you've read the Passion story, let's get back to thinking about the forgiveness that Jesus was asking for. He was being put to death, but He still forgave the people putting Him up to it. Wow. Just wow. I am amazed at the extent of Forgiveness being extended here. He was forgiving the people who were trying to kill Him. How many times do we put God on a back burner and forget about Him? Per day? Per hour? Yet He still loves us. Wow.

Now think about people you love. Or even things you "love." Would you be able to say the same things about them? Would they be able to love you like God does? How about your love for them? Do you love them the way God loves us?

Well, it's getting late and I need to sleep. So I'm calling it a night. Besides, if I don't go to bed right now, I'm not going to bed tonight. Good Night! God Bless!

Dark World

It's a dark world we live in. Killing sprees, corrupt governments, and domestic abuse. It's sad, how much our world is falling apart. How much the people of our world are falling apart. How we go about our daily lives with heavy hearts wishing for the one day we can just rest and not worry about things going on. We long for a release. We look for a light in the ever-growing darkness.

That's why Jesus came. There's a reason He's called the light of the world. He came into a dark time as well. With King Herod killing boys that were 2 years old and younger, to corrupt religious leaders (not unlike some of the religious leaders today...), Jesus came in a dark world. He was born in a feed box. A nasty, stinky feed box. He could have been born anywhere. He could have been born in a palace or even the Inn. But he was born in a feed box. Maybe he did this to let us know that he came to get dirty. He hung out with the "wrong crowd." He stood out from the "normal people." He died because people didn't like His message of salvation. Yet, He still came.

We look at this world sometimes with the attitude of the ever popular "I don't want to live on this planet" meme (yes, I pulled meme into the conversation). We look at the world and see how messed up it is. Why do we live in it? What's the purpose in fighting anymore? In a word: Hope. Hope that Jesus will come back. Hope that we will live in a world far better than this one. Hope of a future without pain. Hope that only Jesus can bring. Peace that only Jesus can bring.

We live in a dark world. Jesus came to light it up. To disperse the darkness. He came to give us hope. That, I think, is the greatest Christmas gift of all. Hope of a future where there will be no pain, no tears, no sickness, no fear of tomorrow, no stressing out about an assignment due tomorrow, no stress about how much work you'll be able to put in this week, no worry of being able to put food on the table. Jesus brought the greatest gift of all.

Hope.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Finals Week

"UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" My thoughts during finals week. I really don't want to do anything this week, but if I'm going to be able to come back next semester, I need to push through Thursday. I would love to be back home and shooting airsoft guns at helpless animals-I MEAN...Coke cans and trees...yeah....

I'm taking a short break from studying to write this post because I haven't written in a while. There's not really a reason behind it. No message of peace and joy, no message of doom and despair, just boredom. I'm not really stressed, just tired. Tired of the constant race to get things done and done well. I would love to just sit and relax for a day and not worry about what's due tomorrow, or next week, or next month...or the next hour...

I've been sitting in a tiny room in the Library studying for a Western Civ final and I'm starting to go a little crazy. I don't plan on leaving here until suppertime, but I might stab someone when I get out. I don't do sitting still well. Friends who know me can attest to this. I also drank a Monster earlier. I have determined that when I feel the effects of that wearing off, I will leave and go take a break.

Anyways, I've spent enough time on here. I need to get back to studying. I'll see you all later. I just wanted to write on here because I haven't posted in a while.

In other news: Ecliptic is the average word of the day.

"In Christ Alone"

I always love The Gathering on Sunday nights. We always have good music, good speakers, and a break from working our tails off. Tonight, we sang a beautiful Hymn called "In Christ Alone." It's possibly one of my favorite hymns (there are a few) and tonight, I paid attention to what I was singing and got a sucker punch to the gut. Guys, this song is powerful.

In Christ alone my hope is found 

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease 

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

The first verse talks about how Christ is the cornerstone. He is the stabilizer of our faith. He is the constant in a world of changing variables. Through hurricane and tsunami, He is present. Then we sing that He loves us. He brings us peace. He is present through life's turmoil and he gives us peace. What better promise than that, guys?!

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied 

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

Now we're getting into the story of Jesus's time on earth. He came as a baby, not a reigning king, not a powerful conqueror  but a baby. Not exactly the Messiah the Jews were looking for. I've often wondered what the Shepherds thought when they first saw Jesus in a feed box. "This is our messiah? A baby?" is something I would imagine them saying. Then we get to later in his life when we see that people didn't like him and ignored him. Then we get into the crucifixion. When Jesus took us, who were captured by sin, and said, "Paid in full. Let them go free." Guys, Jesus died for us. Let that sink in. Who would you die for? Would you die for a slave trader in china, a drug dealer in the US, an evil dictator in some foregin country you've never heard of? How about the guy who just cut you off in traffic? The person who paid for your food in line at the drive thru? The kid who helps you carry groceries from the store to your car? The person that smiles and says hi to you as you meet them on the sidewalk? Jesus did. Let that sink in. He died for me. A messed up kid who procrastinates on homework too much, gets stressed about some of the littlest things, and sometimes isn't very nice to people. He died for that freak. He died for me.

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain 

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

There in the ground. Jesus died. He died for me. The light that would show the world the path to eternal life and the Kingdom of God. The light that demolishes the darkness in the world. He was murdered by the very people he came to save. If that doesn't make me feel lousy to be a human, I don't know what will. But it didn't end there. NO, it didn't end there. He came back. Death couldn't handle him. The grave couldn't hold him. He stands before us now with open arms saying "Come. I did this for you. I don't care what you did in the past. It's past. Nothing you can do about it now. I've forgiven you through my death." And just like that, Sin loses its grip on us. He calls us his. "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me. (John 10:14)" He bought us with a high price, and he calls us his own. Satan no longer has any hold over us. Let me repeat that. SATAN HAS NO HOLD OVER US! Jesus came to forgive us of our sins so that we don't have to be held captive by satan and his lies. That's the point in the service where I broke down. I've pushed God away so much, and he still loves me. He still pursues me. He wants me to know that I am his. If you get nothing else from reading this, get this: He is reaching out to you. He is working in your life. He wants you. He wants you to know that he loves you and that he will care for you.

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

'Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand 

No fear in death. No power of hell. No scheme of man. Nothing can interfere with God's love for us. Till he comes back or takes us to our true home. We stand here in the power of Christ. He loves us. He will not abandon us. I've often wondered what Heaven will be like. No tears, no pain, a new world, a new creation, a new body. That sounds like paradise. I'm excited. I want others to be able to experience that. I can't explain how much I want others to be able to experience that.

Guys, I'm excited. Let's let God continue to work in our lives.

Questions

This post is just to kinda organize my thoughts so that I can make sense of what happened to me. This isn't a post to encourage or make you feel all happy inside. Now that you have been warned, bear with me.

I'm filled with so many questions. Sometimes I feel like I ask to many, but other times, I feel like I don't ask enough. What is my real name (Revelation 2:17)? Why can't I hear God's voice? Is it selfish if I want to leave the earth and go to heaven right now (especially with midterms coming up...)? Will I recieve a new body or will my Spirit be taken to heaven? Is it selfish of me to wish I could hear God call out my name?

I guess I need to calm down, but somehow, I can't let the thought of not being able to hear God calling my name out of my head. Will it be a peaceful sensation, or will it be filled with trembling? Am I even ready to hear God call my name? I guess it may be a little selfish of me to with that I could hear God call my name, but all the same, I wish I could hear that simple little thing. I sat out on a fallen tree for ten minutes or more trying to be silent so I could hear that whisper. I didn't hear anything but the creek flowing through the rocks. I tend to be a deep thinker, but I was concentrating so hard for silence that I either missed it or wasn't concentrating enough. Or neither.

I'm sorry if this seems a little selfish to wish I could hear God calling my name, but I really want to hear His voice. I want to feel His presence. I want to hear that God is there. I guess I'm much like Thomas when he doubts WITHOUT seeing. I want to see/hear God speak to me.

What happens when we die? Do we have a spirit and body? Or are the two inseperable? Do we have a new body when we get to heaven? Does our spirit go to heaven and our body stay here? Do we get a new body as soon as we die?

I'm not going back to that pit I came from last year; I'm having way too much fun in Discipleship and Evangelism for that to happen. I still have doubts, yes. Who doesn't? I ask a lot of questions. Yeah, probably. Probably not enough questions. I just have questions. Asking questions is how I learn best. Getting thoughts into language form isn't always that easy for me. One thing is for certain, I'm NOT going back to that pit ever again.

The Boy That Satan Tormented

*Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction inspired by a true story. I do not claim to be able to see how God and Satan interact, this is only my mind telling a story.*

One day, Satan decided to come before God. "Oh, Mighty Lord. I see a boy in your creation. I wish to see how he reacts to my doings," Satan sneers.

God's booming voice responded, "Why do you wish to do so?"

"I wish to try what I did to Job again. You say that this boy will not deny you?"

"I said no such thing. He will deny me."

"Then my victory is complete!" Satan stated with glee.

"I never said that, either," God responded. "Do as you wish to the boy, but on the child himself, DO NOT lay a hand."

Satan slinked away to carry out what he was commanded to do. He went to the boy's room. He followed the boy around hiding in the shadows, watching his every move. He learned the boy's schedule. He learned the boy's faults. He found a crack in the wall around his heart. When the time was right, Satan attacked the wall. He threw bad grades at the boy, he threw late nights at him, he even tossed in a few poisoned friendships. Finally when he felt that victory was his, he entered the wall and brought his minions with him to whisper in the boy's ear. Lies that told the boy that he was worthless, that he wouldn't ever be content, that nobody cared about him, that God had abandoned him. His victory was so close. Then finally, the boy broke. He cursed God. He wished God would leave him alone. He left the social circle and wished that he himself could die. He was sitting in a room by himself when Satan was jumping up and down with glee.

"My victory is almost complete!" Satan screeched. He saw the boy pull out a pocket knife and place the blade on his neck. "Do it!" Satan whispered in his ear. "Nobody wants you here! Go ahead and kill yourself!"

Suddenly an explosion rocked Satan's world. He flew through the air, away from the boy. Angels had taken him away from the boy. Three formed a wall around the boy and one leaned down and whispered in his ear. "Stop. Give it some time." The boy put the blade down and left the room.

Satan glared at the angels and screeched, "That's not fair!"

God's voice boomed through the heavens, "I am not finished with him."

Satan moaned and yelled, "Why!?!"

"For the my Glory, that all that come in come in contact with the boy will know my healing power," God rumbled through the sky. Several days passed with no one speaking to the boy. In that time, the boy began to build a wall of hate and self denial. Finally, God spoke to Jesus. "Show yourself to Nathan. Tell him that We love him. Tell him to come to us again. Tell him that nothing he can do will take our love away from him."

"I will do so," Jesus replied. Sunday night, when the boy had dragged himself to a church service to see if God would speak to him had a surprise when Jesus came to him on the cross. "Why do you hate me? I did this for you. Why do you run? I will only pursue." The boy's walls crumbled. He stood before the Lord, stripped of all defenses, broken. He begged for forgiveness. "I've already given it to you," Jesus replied. "Nathan, We will never abandon you. You are precious in Our sight. We love you very much."

Satan gagged at the sight. "Yuck! I will win this battle, God!" He shouted at the Lord.

God chuckled and it sounded like thunder. "Have you ever read Revelation?" God said to Satan. "That will be one promise you can't keep."

Pain and Rememberance

So I've been kinda quiet here lately, but with good reason. I've been taking a discipleship and evangelism class that has kinda been blowing my mind with some difficult questions. I have yet to come up with answers. It's a process. BUT that's not what this post is for.

I've been having a time of silence and solitude every week for this class that increases by ten minutes every week. Today was for fifty minutes. I went down to the fallen tree behind North-I mean...uh...Hutch, and sat there for fifty minutes. Almost not doing anything. Most of the beginning of my time was spent trying to clear my mind. It took a while but it finally happened.

A little background before I go any deeper, every time I've had a time of silence and solitude, God has somehow brought up the time when I ran from him last year. Aside from my many...many........MANY requests, God still brings it up. I hated myself then and I don't want to remember that time. I don't want to go back to that pit. I'm still healing from that. I asked myself multiple times, "Why do you want me to go back to that time, God? I was glad to be rid of it!" *background over*

SO, today, God decided to bring up a point that I haven't thought about, like ever. We sometimes tend to focus on just the pain of our past that we forget to focus on the healing. What happens after we've been hurt? We heal. In this discipleship and evangelism class, the professor brought up a point I haven't thought about as well. He said something along the lines of "We try to cover up our wounds. Sometimes God comes along and takes off the bandage and digs around inside that wound and cleans it up better than we could."

The healing. It's a strong concept. Whether you're talking cells healing themselves, emotional pain, or even the environment slowly healing, it's a concept that won't go away. It's always there. Even in death, the body erodes away and gives nutrients to the ground around it. And some of healing is almost unbelievable. Accounts have been recorded of people miraculously not having cancer right before going in for surgery or Chemo. As I have mentioned in a previous post, we long for a release. It is our nature to be pulled tight and stressed, but we long for the healing.

So I offer a word of encouragement: You may be going through a struggle and feel that it will never end. You may think that it's not worth it to keep going. Don't let those lies be twisted into your thinking. Time will heal things. I am living proof of this. I was beyond forgiveness and beyond hurt, I almost went beyond the point of no return. But I was healed.

In the midst of remembering a dark time and still longing for healing, God provided me hope. And that helped heal me. Hope of a better future because I know that God never left me. Hope of knowledge. Hope of healing.

We tend to focus too much on hardships and pain when we endure it. What about the healing that comes after?