This post is just to kinda organize my thoughts so that I can make sense of what happened to me. This isn't a post to encourage or make you feel all happy inside. Now that you have been warned, bear with me.
I'm filled with so many questions. Sometimes I feel like I ask to many, but other times, I feel like I don't ask enough. What is my real name (Revelation 2:17)? Why can't I hear God's voice? Is it selfish if I want to leave the earth and go to heaven right now (especially with midterms coming up...)? Will I recieve a new body or will my Spirit be taken to heaven? Is it selfish of me to wish I could hear God call out my name?
I guess I need to calm down, but somehow, I can't let the thought of not being able to hear God calling my name out of my head. Will it be a peaceful sensation, or will it be filled with trembling? Am I even ready to hear God call my name? I guess it may be a little selfish of me to with that I could hear God call my name, but all the same, I wish I could hear that simple little thing. I sat out on a fallen tree for ten minutes or more trying to be silent so I could hear that whisper. I didn't hear anything but the creek flowing through the rocks. I tend to be a deep thinker, but I was concentrating so hard for silence that I either missed it or wasn't concentrating enough. Or neither.
I'm sorry if this seems a little selfish to wish I could hear God calling my name, but I really want to hear His voice. I want to feel His presence. I want to hear that God is there. I guess I'm much like Thomas when he doubts WITHOUT seeing. I want to see/hear God speak to me.
What happens when we die? Do we have a spirit and body? Or are the two inseperable? Do we have a new body when we get to heaven? Does our spirit go to heaven and our body stay here? Do we get a new body as soon as we die?
I'm not going back to that pit I came from last year; I'm having way too much fun in Discipleship and Evangelism for that to happen. I still have doubts, yes. Who doesn't? I ask a lot of questions. Yeah, probably. Probably not enough questions. I just have questions. Asking questions is how I learn best. Getting thoughts into language form isn't always that easy for me. One thing is for certain, I'm NOT going back to that pit ever again.
Nathan,
ReplyDeleteYou will never be able to hear God speak your name.
I have never heard Him audibly talk to me.
The problem with most of Christian anything today (books, media, etc.) is that it over-emphasizes God physically talking to people and revealing things to them outside of His Word.
I don't believe any of that. Not that I don't believe He can't reveal things to people like that, and no, I'm not "putting God in a box." I just don't believe He chooses to reveal things to us in that way.
I just went on a retreat this weekend; the speaker that came is the author of a book called Free To Be Wise (the author's name is Kirk Youngblood - please check it out!) Anyway, it's basically giving arguments against the movement that pretty much claims that if you don't physically hear God speaking to you, then you're really not a Christian. So many people also have this problem, they don't hear God speak to them or feel His presence, but being a follower of Christ is not about feelings/emotions/etc. "Blessed are those who do not see and yet believe." (That's exactly what Jesus said after the Thomas that you spoke about found out Jesus was who He says He is - you should probably read that too.)
Because God doesn't physically talk to us, we are to pour into Scripture and take everything it says into our minds and hearts, we are to know Scripture like the back of our hand. With that in mind, we are "free to be wise" because we can make wise choices based on the Word of God. For example, God doesn't have "the one" in mind for us to marry; sure He knew who we would marry from the beginning of time, but as long as the other person is a growing follower of Christ, you can marry whoever you want to. (That was just one of the examples that the author gave to us...)
I made the mistake one time of trying to test God by asking Him to do something to make me believe He was actively in my life. (It also clearly says in the New Testament that we shouldn't test God.) I thought He had spoken directly to me through something else, and I thought it was one of those revelation things. Ha, nope... it was one of the biggest mistakes I've made and definitely one of (if not) the stupidest ones.
Basically, God chooses to reveal things to us through SCRIPTURE... Yes, He revealed things by speaking to people directly in the Old Testament and part of the new, but those things shouldn't be taken as normative (meaning they don't happen today and they shouldn't be taken as normal happenings/circumstances for Christians). The reason for that is because believers back then didn't have the Bible like we have today so that's why they needed speaking in tongues, miracles, etc. You have to take things into the right context and know the right interpretation of Scripture.
Does any of this make any sense? If you want to talk with me about it more, I'd be happy to in person on campus whenever we're both free. I hope I haven't confused you; sorry if I have! All I can say is, please read your Bible. That is definitely revelation that God has given to all believers!
I want to start out by saying that I learned not to test God last year. haha I also know that God doesn't speak directly to us, but it's nice to dream. I guess it IS a little spiritually immature to ask that. Or maybe I just got confused with all the speaking to humankind that God does in the Old Testament. But, that's what I think will be nice about heaven. We can finally be with God and ask Him the questions that plagued us on earth. Or if not, then we won't even worry about those questions. It'd be super awesome just to be able to talk to God and actually hear him respond back!
ReplyDeleteI know that God reveals things to us through scripture, but I learn by asking questions. Sometimes I like hard questions. And I do defininately read my bible. I guess I haven't read all I need to be reading/understood all that I have read. I ask questions like someone who would really be asking questions.
Discipleship and Evangelism has caused me to really look closely at what I believe/believed. It's a challenging and rewarding class. Prof. Lanker never answers a question with a solid statement. He responds with another question. So it's a teaching style that really works with my learning style. It's the translating thoughts to actual language is difficult.
So, to conclude, you haven't confused me. You've given me some really good insights to ponder. And I would love talking to you about some of these things.
I guess I need to translate my thoughts more clearly. haha
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