I Am Me

Have you ever had to question who you were? Not necessarily because you HAD to, but because the thought just won't leave you? What kind of person you are? who others see you as? what you see yourself as? Well this whole semester I've been asking myself that. And due to some unforeseen circumstances throughout the semester, I have been letting that thought control me. And now I've come to realize that that's not healthy.

Tonight's gathering was an "all-prayer" gathering. We sang worship songs throughout most of it, but there were long times of prayer. We started out singing songs of Adoration. I couldn't bring myself to sing them, though. I was still a little bitter about some things that have happened in this semester. I was letting that get to me. I prayed a prayer of asking for forgiveness. I sat there silently for a while, then I began again: "Hey God,

I know you want prayer to be to you like a conversation is to us. So here I go. God, I want to be content with who I am. Help me to be myself. Help me not to feel fake. I get so tired of putting on a smile even though I ache inside. I want to be free. I want satan to leave me alone!!! I'm tired of him messing with my life and pulling me down. I'm tired of my sins pushing me farther away from you. Help me to have true peace!!!"

Well we finished the service with group prayer, and, like the socialite I was, I sat down and didn't even try to find a group. Well God wasn't going to let that happen, and thus the reason for my guilty feeling... I leaned forward and talked to someone I knew from choir. "Is there anything I can pray for you for?" Well we shared requests. I said that I have been in a valley most of the semester. So we began to pray. I started. And my friend began after I had finished. I thank God for this person, I won't name them because I haven't personally asked if they wish to be named. They began with the usual, "thanks for this kid. keep working in his life" (paraphrased, not a direct quote) but they began to go into "I thank you for the way he is and that he's not afraid to be himself and be different." I began to realize that God had answered my prayer. I was me.

I am ME.

I am nobody else. I am not fake. I do not define myself by what others think of me. I do not define myself by what grade say I am. I do not let others' opinions affect the way I am. I am ME. I thank God for this person in Choir. Through them, I realized that God had already answered my prayer. I was already myself. I was different. I was me. I still am me. I will not change. I refuse to conform. I am an Original Masterpiece of God. I refuse to let someone else change the color scheme.

And in other news, I had just enough money to get a hot chocolate tonight at the Cali. That made me happy.

So back to my original message. If you feel like you aren't satisfied with yourself, or feel like others judge you too much, stop feeling that way. You be the only person that matters. BE YOU!!! I know that many people don't like fakes. I don't know about you, but I would rather know someone for who they are rather than for who they're acting like. Just be yourself. If you're a quiet person, be a quiet person. If you're crazy, do some crazy stuff. If you're a social butterfly, talk to people. But even if you aren't a Christian, still be yourself. Don't act like someone else who's popular. I don't like fakers. And chances are, a lot of other people don't either. So don't be someone else.

Be YOU.

Dr. Seuss says it better than I could:

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go....