Today, we were just starting musicianship and one of our classmates found out a close relative passed away. We all kind of had trouble adjusting after that. We prayed for a while and Mr. Funk continued class. It was different. Everyone was more gentle and quiet.
I was thinking to myself, "Nobody likes death. Why do we feel so weak talking about it?" Could it be that we are faced with something that mankind is threatened by? This subject that weakens knees and breaks hearts is a part of life. It's something that we can't run from. Some day we all will face death.
This situation reminded me of when my great uncle died. I was in seventh grade. My great uncle was pretty much one of the coolest people I knew. He would often bake me and my brother cool treats to enjoy and make gingerbread houses that were exclusively detailed. He loved us and we loved him. He demonstrated that often. He was a smoker. Lung cancer was slowly taking his life away. He had been in the nursing home for a long time. One Saturday, I was mowing my grandparents' lawn. My grandmother called my dad. I saw him pick up the phone. I knew what had happened. I was afraid to come to terms with that though. I refused to accept it, but my dad came over and confirmed what I already knew. I remember collapsing on the lawn. I was covered in cut grass, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. I just lost an amazing friend and family member. Now that I'm thinking about it, I recall checking my phone every time after that when I mow at their house expecting bad news. I never fully recovered. But we went to the nursing home where he was just a short time ago. His body remained. My grandmother gave me his watch. It still sits on my bedside table, unworn. I tried to wear it for a couple of days. It didn't feel right for me to wear it. The next couple of days were just surreal to me. I almost felt light headed it was just weird for me. Not sad, not depressing, not angering, just weird. I had yet to come to terms with the fact that I would never see Uncle Bill again. To have that constant presence taken from you, it's just weird. I grew up from that, though. I still check my phone constantly when I'm mowing their yard. I would like to say that it's to check and see if I missed any texts from my friends, but I know that it's because I was afraid I would miss a call from my parents telling me bad news about some other family member.
Now, I'm in college. For those of you who have been following my blog, you'll see some of the things God has brought me through and taught me. NONE of those lessons have been easy. In fact all of them have probably been some of the most difficult things I've had to go through. But one thing I've learned is that there's a time for being beaten down and then there's a time for rising up again. And the better thing to know is that we don't have to rise alone. God helps lift us up. He never left me when I hated Him. When I wanted Him to die, He gave me life. He knows that what we're going through is difficult. He's demonstrated that in my life when I just wanted to die. He comes to us when we can't come to him.
So back to the original topic: Death. It's not easy. It just sucks. For those who've lost loved ones by it. And most certainly for those who have died and had not made their confession in Jesus as their Savior and God's only Son. But Ecclesiastes 3 tells us "there is a time for mourning...and a time to mend." That time to mend is a short way of saying that "life goes on." The death of a loved one is not the end of the world. Mourn. Definitely mourn. Mourning is natural, but don't linger in that stage. Let your life continue after that. Death is a painful thing. Mourning comes natural. Mourning takes longer for some that for others. It took me at least a month to really come to terms with the fact that Uncle Bill was gone, but guess what. I kept living. I lived with his memories. The times I got to help decorate the gingerbread houses, the times I would get to play with his dog, the times when he would lift his dog up for my brother to pet. The times he would smile when he saw our expressions of just getting to see him. I continued to let my life take its turns.
Death is not an easy thing. But it is a part of life.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, ... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance," Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a,4
God will not leave us alone either.
"For I Am the LORD your God, I take hold of your right hand and I say unto you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13.
God is telling us, YOU, "I will help you."
God bless
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